събота, август 6
Have you got problems in your conservation zone?
Nowhere to go at night?
Swimming facilities drying up?
Uh, oh! You've got Liberals!
There's nothing the Lobster enjoys more at the weekend than jumping into his Hummer. This is just an old H2 banger one, my proper H3 one is being polished at the moment. Places you can go include the countryside, and popping down to your local organic retailer for a punnet of strawberries flown in from Guatemala.
Next weekend the Lobster is planning on going on a "Bat Walk". Everyone knows that bats can't walk but tell that to the Countryside Management Service. I hope there's nothing interesting on the telly between 8.15pm and 10.15pm. The best person to help sort this whole mess out is Elaine at the Box Moor Trust on HH 253300.
петък, август 5
They they laugh at you,
Then they fight you,
Then you win
MOHANDAS KARAMCHAND GANDHI 1869 - 1948
четвъртък, август 4
New Cricket rankings were realeased today following the news that England gave the Aussies a bit of a hiding.
BRAVE LADY NURSES from Watford were seen rushing to the aid of fallen US soldiers, caught out when one US unit deserted today. The rebels, wearing a "grey" uniform, had been located at various wooded locations. They are believed to have infultrated Britain over a period of many years, posing as local redcoats.
Taking Full Responsibility
Cabinet Member for Transport
Watford Borough Council
in a letter to the Watford Observer date 29th July 2005
Some shots when the lobster popped out to buy a loaf of bread at Co-op (un-related to the above item)
He had hoped to provide just a little fun,
But then he was found out,
In a giant waterspout,
And the dreaded search for just one more pun...
The Lobster friends' from land and sea,
Couldn't ever see off the Giant Killer Bee,
So they took as their own personal attire,
The cruel world of political satire,
Its just a joke - tee, hee, hee...
Computer geek, wordsmith, master of arts,
Understatement not a known form.
Most important: to visitors be warm,
Smiles and laughter will change all hearts!
Visitor Statistics Released
Due to a continuing clamour by the general public, Lobster Blogster has released its most popular visitor statistics by country today.
In first place was the red flag with the smudgy blue corner. In second place was the showy red, white and blue one. Tied in third place was the stripy one with a blue corner and its next door neighbour (neighbor) which also has the same flag. In last place was the one with the red cross thing.
сряда, август 3
Excuse me. Who are you and what are doing on Lobster Blogster?
I asked you quite politely who you are and what your business is. If you don't stop shouting I will have to ask you to leave.
Lobster Blogster is an unspoilt marine environment kept safe for those who prefer a more refined blogosphere. We allow people to chat freely about the things they enjoy and the things they want to do. We try to join in with other creatures' and humans' blogs and bring a little smile to their day which is otherwise spent chained to a computer. We don't really have anything for Banana People here.
Is it true that you have difficulty relating to people, cannot listen, and believe that you are always right?
I'm On The Council
A new service for all you blogsters out there is Watford Blog Council. Where ever you see this distinctive new logo you will know there are bloggers just like you and the lobster.
Current membership is:
GW, Future Mrs Lobster and Lobster Blogster
Membership is open to all proper* bloggers who blog in and around Watford, and to people who just fancy running Watford for a bit.
Vacancies: we will have no problem adding to the Council membership, but does anyone fancy being Leader of the Opposition?
* Proper is defined here as blogs where you can leave comments, not like the Banana People ones which are transmit only.
The blogosphere is continuing to grow, with a weblog created every second, according to blog trackers Technorati.
In its latest State of the Blogosphere report, it said the number of blogs it was tracking now stood at more than 14.2m blogs, up from 7.8m in March.
It suggests, on average, the number of blogs is doubling every five months.
Blogs, the homepages of the 21st Century, are free and easy to set up and use. They are popular with people who want to share thoughts online.
They allow for the instant publication of ideas and for interactive conversations, through comments, with friends or strangers.
As reported on BBC news website
вторник, август 2
British Forces Seal Off Southern Approach to Watford
Top of the Pops
As a search engine enthusiast, Lobster Blogster is always fascinated to know if he is Top of the Pops or not. Of course these things change every day, so if you don't try them quick you may not see them working quite as the lobster does right now.
The Ice Man Cometh is my particular favourite at the moment, on MSN
Liberal Bananacrats is one I like to come back to. I like the way two opposing forces come head-to-head here on Google
Watford Traffic is a bit of a thing with some bloke called Martin on Yahoo
If you are feeling particularly naughty, try this one. I have a cunning plan to make Liberal Bananacrats the top search on their own website.
понеделник, август 1
Seven: Is It Lucky?
Thorny Old Subject for Councillor Sharpe
Excerpts from Watford Observer article of 15 February 2001Proposals For Elected Mayor 'undemocratic' Says Party Group Leader
February 15, 2001 15:39: PROPOSALS for an elected mayor in Watford have been labelled undemocratic and potentially corrupt by the leader of the borough's Liberal Democrats.
Liberal Democrat group leader Iain Sharpe, a member of the council's scrutiny panel, which looked at the new constitution, wrote a minority report, read out to the meeting.
He criticised the proposed constitution of Watford Council, arguing the elected mayor would have excessive powers, which would increase secrecy, reduce open government and enable councillors and citizens to be sidelined in the decision-making process.
Among the issues Councillor Sharpe claimed were dangerous are powers for the mayor to take decisions in private, without calling a cabinet meeting.
Councillor Sharpe said: "This would curtail debate, deny opposition parties the power to speak against decisions as they are made, and prevent the press and public from being present when decisions are taken.
"The mayor could become a quasi-dictator, with no obligation to pay attention to any other views. It could be a recipe, not only for bad decisions, but for corruption."
Excerpt from Watford Liberal Democrats 2002 Mayoral Manifesto
- Hold a referendum to enable the public to have their say on the new mayoral system at the earliest opportunity (ideally this should be before the end of the first mayoral term and we will press the government to allow this to happen).
Excerpts from Watford Observer article of 29 July 2005 p10Lib Dem councillors rejected a motion proposed by Conservative Councillor Robert Gordon asking for the council to make a request to Government that Watford be allowed to hold a referendum on the direct election issue.
Councillors from the Conservative, Labour and Green parties supported the motion, which was defeated by 23 votes to nine with two Liberal Democrats abstaining.
Councillor Iain Sharpe said that the Liberal Democrat group had not discussed the concept of a directly elected mayor so he could not speak for them. He said he would vote against the idea in a future referendum.
Recent letters to the paper:
Recent acheivements of note:
Click here for vanity website
неделя, юли 31
What Kinda Celebrity
1. If you were a celebrity, what kind would it be (movies, tv, literature, crime, etc)?
Search Engine - I hope to be as famous as Ask Jeeves one day
2. Which other celebrities would you make a concerted effort to try and be around?
Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, Daffy Duck
3. Which other celebrities would you avoid like the plague?
Darth Vadar and Donald Rumsfeld
4. Which celebrities would you date?
I never discuss matters of a sexual nature when humans are watching
5. What would be your "Celebrity Cause"?
6. Since celebs always get off, what crime('s) would you commit?
Just ordinary crimes against humanity, crimes against other aquatic creatures are a real no-no
7. What would be the name of your tell-all book?
Alice in Wonderland - Chapter 10
8. Tag 3 people to do this poll.
9. Link to the post that tagged you.
Marines Refuse to Obey Orders
Undersea world holds urgent talks over the expected American invasion of Watford. Aquatic creatures were given the ultimatum "Are you with us, or against us?" by George Bush earlier today. Marine world decides to declare strict neutrality. US reluctantly agrees to allow neutral observers to remain in the River Colne and Watford pond. All other parts of the borough to be "zoned" and administered by the Coalition of the Willing (US and UK).
American Zones are:
Krispy Kreme Do-nuts
Just about everywhere else apart from...
United Kingdom Zone:
If Watford does not surrender within two days, we will use sock and oar tactics to enter the city... er borough... little town.
Red Lobster, on behalf of all aquatic creatures says:
We're not afraid!
Americans have Watford Surrounded