Lobster Blogster

The UK government is not having a good time of it at the moment, with respect to IT cock-ups galore. What with losing 25 million child benefit records, three year's worth of driving test records and a lamentable health service records scheme which is years behind schedule.

Now, years ahead of the proposed ID cards scheme, Lobster Blogster can exclusively reveal that home-made ID cards as being forged at kitchen tables up and down the land. Incredibly, even biometric photo-ID cards are being created, using "scissors and glue" technology.

Pictured are two examples. On the left, clearly displaying the biometric (bloodgroup) information "O Rh Positive" and a special code, W06645870, which is known to exist in a secure and confidential national database, a photo of Britain's most wanted man has been affixed using a strong glue. The resulting home-made biometric photo ID is actually entirely legal, and will pass muster at even the strictest of health service scrutineers.

A second fake home-made ID card, again using the image of the UK's top master forger, is shown on the right. Although this card simply would not work in a cash point machine, it can be used to guarantee a cheque for up to £100! Once again this is completely legal.

Each of the cards has been made from re-used materials, and has been manufactured at a fraction of the cost of the national ID card scheme. It the government would like to send the Lobster a small token of their appreciation, say £1 million pounds in used £5 notes, then they are free to use this idea and save the country billions. For security, each photo has a secret message hidden behind it, thus making these IDs virtually unforgeable. The original manufacturer and only the original manufacturer will be able to determine the validity of these documents.




WARNING: do not approach the man pictured. He has been known to scare leading Lib Dems, and even make one or two cry. Apparently he is even banned from the Customer Service Centre at Watford Town Hall.

Етикети: biometric ID cards