сряда, април 26


Aquatic Quiz Time

There is something very fishy about the photo below. Do you think these humans might be trying catch the lobster vote? When you've spotted what it is, drop me a line!

вторник, април 25


Who Will the Lobster Vote For?

GW has set the lobster a surprisingly difficult question to answer!

The lobster has adopted a human guise recently, and has been knocking on doors asking other people who they will vote for. The lobster displays posters in his windows so that his neighbours can see who he votes for. The lobster has even been out with a piece of paper and asked ten very kind people to sign it for him, which was duly dropped off at the town hall.

However if the lobster mentions there's one of those things going on where everyone goes out and marks a bit of paper with a pencil (OK, OK we are talking the UK here!) or suggests that people in the town where a lobster might live if he didn't live under the sea in the Heard and MacDonald Islands go out and mark bits of paper, then he might find he's in trouble with the electoral commissioner.

So here's what you've got to do!


Don't vote for the Blues because you won't get Greens.

Don't vote for the Reds because you might get Brown.

Don't vote for the Yellows because you will get Bananas!

Clearly the lobster will not be voting this year as he cannot hold a pencil in his claws.

понеделник, април 24


Thoughts from the Deep

Lobster Blogster has become interested in the thoughts of American philosopher and warmonger, Mr Donald Rumsfeld. Mr Rumsfeld is widely quoted as saying the following:

"...as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

Mr Rumsfeld gave this as an answer to a question in February 2002 about whether there was any evidence that Iraq had supplied or attempted to supply weapons of mass destruction to terrorists. In the full text of his news briefing Mr Rumsfeld immediately goes on to say:

"And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones."

Looking at Mr Rumsfeld's quotation in context, it is clear that he is talking about three different categories of things, defined only by knowing and/or unknowingness. The lobster believes Mr Rumsfeld is wrong, and there can only be two categories of knowing or unknowingness. He will now demonstrate his proof from the bottom of the sea.

First off, let's acknowledge that talking about known and unknown and combinations of the two can be very muddling. Instead we'll talk about it in terms of being seen or unseen.

Suppose there are two of us. You can see some things, and I can see some things too. According to our perspective, there are some things we can both see, some things which only one of us can see, and some which neither of us can see. I could label these as seen seen things, seen unseen things and unseen unseen things, but have I really ended up with three categories of "seeingness"? Well no, because there are still just things which are seen, and those which are unseen. Unseen unseens are just things which we both can't see.

Going back to "knowingness", there can only be two categories there too: known and unknown. Unknown unknowns are just plain vanilla unknowns in a different wrapper. Mr Rumsfeld is using something which should be called "muddly American thinking". It might seem astonishing that someone who applies muddly American thinking can do something as devastating as drive through his plans to take several countries to war, but if you look at his later comments in the news briefing you will see that he refuses to clarify what it is he is actually talking about. The muddle, I'm afraid, is very much part of Mr Rumsfeld's plan.

Many thanks to Kat who got the lobster onto this when she posted a link to a little muddle which refers to a poem by R D Laing call "Knots". My advice here is don't try to tackle this one until you have got over your anger with Mr Rumsfeld and his types. It's time for the lobster to crawl back under his rock, and to contemplate the swaying of the seaweed on the ocean floor.


Put Your Faith in Faith

Lobsters are fairly neutral when it comes to religion. Actually being one of God's creatures mean that aquatic beings have no need to follow one creed or another, and so are technically atheist. Or does that mean that lobsters don't really exist?

Well, anyway the lobster has been investigating a couple of religious groups whose numbers are on the definite increase.

Firstly there are Jedi Knights, who seem to have somewhat miffed the UK's Office of National Statistics by achieving the third most popular religion in the UK for the 2001 census. Cunningly the ONS managed to write Jedi Knights out of the religious populations tables, but they had to classify followers of the Jedi Knight religion as "No religion" in order to do this. To a lobster this seems to defeat the purpose of asking humans what their religion is in the first place. The lobster wonders if Jedi Knight consider themselves to be persecuted by the UK government, and if so what further action they hoped to take in this matter. Being persecuted often seems to be a good starting point for a religion.

The second group is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Worldwide they claim to have over 10 million members, but they don't seem to indicate where they all are. They are very open to having their beliefs taught alongside those of other religions. In fact, the Church places great emphasis on endorsements from scientific experts as to the validity of its claims. It would appear that church members, or Pastafarians as they like to be called, have only recently felt safe enough to air their views without being subject to ridicule, or worse. Needing to start a religion in an underground fashion is also the mark of a religion which is going to be around for a very long time to come. A nice feature of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is that many devotees speak of being "touched by His noodly appendage".

If you fancy starting a new religion, or maybe you just want to join one of the old ones, remember the lobster is always here to answer your questions, be they of an aquatic or general nature.

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