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Revenge of the Lobster!

There exists in the human world a very naughty journalist by the name of Matt Hemley. Why naughty? Well he once described the lobster's best hand-writing as "scribbly". Now Mr Hemley, you try holding an ink pen in a claw and writing your best script underwater ...

Matt's diary column last week contained the following nugget of wisdom.

Here in Watford, the most recent innovation for book fans was the Sunday opening of the library at the top end of town - and news that people may soon be able to enjoy a cuppa while browsing for a novel.

Clearly no one has told Matt that the in-library coffee/tea facilities have been - and gone. Looking something like a spaceship service vehicle, the one a Watford Central library didn't ever seem to have any customers for the few weeks or so it was on site. When it disappeared some four weeks ago, the Lobster enquired of a staff member of its whereabouts. The answer was that none of the library staff ever thought that it would work, and that if library goers wanted to drink fancy coffee they could of course use one of Watford High Street's many cafes and bars.

Matt, you really ought to get out more, to the library!
This man once told you your handwriting was "scribbly"?
I know, Your Excellency, the shame of it. He didn't just tell me, he wrote about it in the newspaper he owns. I think I might get a complex about the whole situation. Its hard enough for aquatic creatures to try to make their mark on dry land, but now I will be stigmatised every time I put pen to paper.
You make sure you get your own back on him, lobster. :-) Fancy writing about you like that, in a newspaper.
Deary me.
That Matt man has extremely bad hair, too.
Personally, I only ever write about humans and the nasty "music" they make in my newspaper. Or the strange outfits they wear. Compare like with like, I say.
Poor lobster.
Perhaps this Matt gentleman cannot read properly. I mean, he next to never dares go to the library and he has trouble reading lobster's handwriting. Lack of reading practice, maybe?
Well, you can't use lack of hairdressers as an excuse in Watford. When I moved there I was struck by the sheer weight of hairdressing salons. I went through the yellow pages and counted them There's one hairdresser or barber's shop for every 400 heads in Watford or at least there was in 1991.

Am I just too sad?
Glad you are keen on the library - I've tagged you re Books! Blame kat!
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