вторник, април 25


Who Will the Lobster Vote For?

GW has set the lobster a surprisingly difficult question to answer!

The lobster has adopted a human guise recently, and has been knocking on doors asking other people who they will vote for. The lobster displays posters in his windows so that his neighbours can see who he votes for. The lobster has even been out with a piece of paper and asked ten very kind people to sign it for him, which was duly dropped off at the town hall.

However if the lobster mentions there's one of those things going on where everyone goes out and marks a bit of paper with a pencil (OK, OK we are talking the UK here!) or suggests that people in the town where a lobster might live if he didn't live under the sea in the Heard and MacDonald Islands go out and mark bits of paper, then he might find he's in trouble with the electoral commissioner.

So here's what you've got to do!


Don't vote for the Blues because you won't get Greens.

Don't vote for the Reds because you might get Brown.

Don't vote for the Yellows because you will get Bananas!

Clearly the lobster will not be voting this year as he cannot hold a pencil in his claws.
Ok Ok Ok.

I get the picture.

Perhaps I should have asked "What do you feel is the most important issue for you in deciding who to vote for in the coming elections?"
If I was a human, and not a sea creature, I expect I would be looking to vote for someone who believes in creating stronger communities, respects those that live nearby, wants to safeguard the planet for future generations, and believes that economics and environmentalism are not incompatible.

I wouldn't at all vote for candidates in a hypothetical town who set taxi drivers against minicab drivers, cannot defend their policies but resort to name-calling, want to create a dustbin mountain across the town, don't know how to incentivise people to respect the environment and believe that taking away local facilities enhances the neighbourhood.

How about you? I suppose I should note here that I've seen your letters in the local paper, so I have a fair idea of where you live. This is a bit like me canvasing you in the street, but with half the world watching.
I live in a recycling bin behind someone's house actually.

I think we're swimming in the same sea lobster. I am friends with some of the bananacrats, because they aren't bad people, just a bit poor on action. To be honest I don't think anyone is going to be able to get it right, we're too far down the road where getting it right costs too much.
I was going to say something about proportional representation and liberals and greens, but these NHS painkillers are brainkillers and I keep forgetting things. Now what was I saying?
Don't you believe too much of that Bananacrat nonsense GW. Don't forget they are specialists in over-stating their acheivements and lowering people's expectations. The result is dross.

I have my own views about proportional representation which maybe I will share sometime. Talking about swimming, I am sure there is something very fishy going on...
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