Lobster Blogster

Lobster Blogster has been struck down by the very rare, and probably fatal condition, known as "Annoyer's Block". The symptoms are:

• Unable to annoy people, despite the best of intentions

The Lobster is sitting here, surrounded by cards and flowers sent by well-wishers, but still there is not an annoying thought in sight. An over-whelming sense of calm, and even good feeling has befallen the Lobster, and he finds himself simply unable to get the necessary attack juices flowing. Apologies to my hundreds of regular readers who are missing their daily dose of aquatic fun.

It's even more amazing that the Lobster has been so afflicted, when you consider the number of easy targets which are out there at the moment, just waiting to have the mickey taken out of them. No not sitting ducks like Peter Hain, mortally wounded and just hoping that the final blow is a clean one, nor even George Osbourne, whose undeclared donations are so large he could retire on the interest.

Consider perhaps Liberal Democrat Leader Nick Clegg who has vowed to "break the two-party system" in UK politics for good. What happens is his policy is more successful than he dreams of, and we end up with not three party politics, but four or even five? That way, the Lib Dems could be heading down the list, not up. Careful what you wish for, Mr Clegg, it might come true. Then there's the ever charming Mr Dale, who recently held a Masterclass in Debating for Ignorant People. Top tips: Hold strong opinions, but don't say why; Quote your opposition's position, but don't include a link (then no one will know if they really said it, or you just made it up); Get your facts wrong, be grumpy about being corrected, then misquote the correction to overstate your own case (sorry Daley, Worstall says there's a carbon cost to running a nuclear power station, not just building one).

But perhaps the easiest target out there just at moment is the lovely Watford Borough Council Planning and Development Department. Despite the Audit Commission heaping on praise the " Council is successfully investing in infrastructure - for example a cycle map, ...", the Planning Department have managed to create a cycle map of the town with a series of concentric rings centred on the Town Hall, marked as miles, but in fact covering distances of kilometres. The planners have hit on the idea that best way to respond to such a cock-up is to pretend it didn't happen. The map is still freely available on the web, and the matter will be tackled at the next "map review" meeting, although there is no review scheduled, and no actual format for such a review in any case.

If only the Lobster had not been completely debilitated by this infernal Annoyer's Block, he would be able to bring these stories as usual. Hopefully the Lobster will be back to full fitness in the near future, and back knocking the silly people who need to come down a peg or two. We will bring you further news as soon as we have it.

Етикети: health, Iain Dale, Lib Dems, WBC

As you can see from the photo on the right, one of the Lobster's pastry cutter's has gone missing. It's the diamond one, which cuts the sharpest, and makes the tastiest biscuits. Today being 5th December (bonfire night in Watford, we're exactly one month behind every one else in the UK), the Lobster has one or two tasks to do around the house, before getting ready to go out to see the panto at the Palace Theatre. In a moment, Lobster Blogster will head off to fetch his DIY overalls from the garage (in fetching BT colours, of course), so that he can get on with the big task of decorating the bathroom. Oh, and maybe he might pop in to his local Lib Dem offices, just to pass the time away a bit, and see how they feel about him raking up some leaves at the local park. What could possibly go wrong (today)?

Етикети: Lib Dems, tree vandals

... May Be Eaten!*

Planet Earth is expecting a visit from a giant flying monkey god from outer-space, by the name of Big King Umbongo, in the very near future. Lobster Blogster respectfully advises BKU that although he is perfectly entitled to take away and eat as many young virgins, and Lying Liberal Bananacrats, as he can lay his six hands on, not everything with wings is entirely palatable. Take a lion for instance. Because it is carnivorous, the flesh is not good to eat. Even if there were a lion which evolved wings, it still would leave a bad taste in the mouth.

*The quotation above is a slight adaptation of the Bulgarian translation for "All the glisters is not gold" in Българско-Ангийски Речник, T. Atanassova and others Sofia 1975.


Other news
Telling lies can:

• cause you to stammer
• make you go bald, and
  
• worsen your eyesight
  

Take a look at the two anonymised models below and see if you can spot who tells the most lies?

Couldn't resist a couple of small clues! One pretends to be an anti-cover-up campaigner, the other is Ms Whip lash. Enjoy!

Етикети: Bullies, Flying Lion Ltd, Lib Dems

This cannot possibly be true!
In an almost unbelievable turn of events, the Lib Dem offices on the Leavesden Road, North Watford, were coned off, as if to "prevent evidence from being destroyed". The shutters were down, there was not a single orange Lib Dem sign on display and an estate agent's "To Let" sign was firmly affixed to the front of the building.

Liberal Democrat Portfolio Holders, have been refusing all calls and e-mails, and even Cllr Iain Sharpe's blog has been left abandoned for several days. Lobster Blogster had hoped to bring you news of who the "third man" is, the political leader with responsibility for Housing during the period 2005 to 2006, but now it seems we may never know.

It looks as though the building was cleared out several days ago. Rubbish has already started to accumulate. An elderly man with white hair was seen leaving the building with bundles of paperwork on Saturday. Is this when the Lib Dems upped sticks and went? There are signs that a lot of alcohol had been consumed, and a vacuum cleaner has been left by the front door. Up the street an old settee is left right across the pavement. Could this be the same sofa where leading Lib Dems sat down in comfort, whilst collecting huge allowances from the Watford tax payer?

UPDATE: Oh no, it looks like we've found out who the new tenants are!

Other news
The Watford Observer reported today that the Gold Plated Traffic Cones saga is almost over. Drivers in the area face only a few more months of driving misery, before a team of specialised "traffic cone removal operatives" are assigned to the dangerous task of re-opening the full width of the road. Claire Ward MP, said this was a "victory for common sense" after being told that the M25 was likely to be further widened in approximately two years time. Full story here.

Етикети: callowland, Environment Action Zone, Lib Dems, WBC

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Lobster Blogster has joined an exclusive list of up to one thousand households in North Watford which are taking part in the UK's national pilot of enigmaTag. A free bottle of enigmaTag is available to North Watford resident's who visit North Watford Police Station, or contact their local community officers. But hurry, there are only one thousand bottles available for the entire pilot scheme. The tagging liquid is not available for sale in the UK at the present time, but it is expected to retail for around £80 when the trial is complete.

Were the Lobster to be stolen, or perhaps even eaten by missionaries from the Liberal Bananacrats, then police would be able to confirm the identity of the rightful owner using an ultra-violet scanning device.

How amusing that the powers that be have chosen North Watford as the only pilot scheme in the UK. Could it possibly be because this is one part of the country where we most definately don't trust the lying Lib Dems?

As a corollary to the Watford Observer getting a written apology from Lib Dem Parliamentary candidate Sal Brinton, it may be worth mentioning that Andy Wylie, already in trouble on other pages of Lobster Blogster, is the Lib Dems election agent. It is his name that should appear at the foot of all local Lib Dem political material, and he is the one who is legally responsible for any claim made within the literature. Lobster Blogster's copy of the offending leaflet was delivered some four or five days after Brinton's apology appeared in the Watford Observer. In their usual lazy way the Lib Dems had not bothered to cover the offending item, or make clear by way of a sticker that they had had to apologise to the paper for the lie. Like any good citizen, the Lobster's copy went straight into the recycling bin unread. But if anyone still has the lying leaflet, the Lobster would be very grateful if it could be identified whether Wylie's name is on it or not.

Етикети: callowland, Lib Dems, North Watford

How strange! The Lobster has highlighted in bold praise from the Audit Commission for Watford Borough Council recorded in two sections of the council's Comprehensive Performance Assessment.

47 Partnerships are used effectively to increase the Council's capacity to deliver its ambitions and priorities. Partnership with the County Council has enabled the Council to improve the town centre environment. It is achieving housing priorities by effective partnership work with residents, tenants, voluntary organisations and Registered Social Landlords; and the planned transfer of its housing stock will improve capacity to achieve the decent homes standard. The transfer of management of community centres to community associations and agreement on a three-year funding programme for voluntary and community groups helps those bodies better support the Council's priorities. The Council is working with two neighbouring authorities to develop shared services on HR, finance, ICT and revenues and benefits. It has taken a lead role in the development of the county-wide pathfinder bid, which is planned to make savings of 3.5 per cent. Partnership working with a consortium including Watford Hospital and Watford Football Club is central to the health campus plan. The Council's good use of partnerships is successfully increasing its capacity to deliver its priorities.

68. Service users are actively involved in performance management. Scrutiny actively seeks to involve the public and stakeholders in the policy review process, leading to improved participation rates in a number of reviews including those on the future of the Colosseum and on transport (buses). In a stakeholder survey over 60 per cent of respondents agreed that the Council was involving service users, residents and partners in monitoring services. In particular, housing was cited as a service that was good at engaging with and involving tenants and residents. Over half of respondents thought that the Council reported in an open and transparent way about levels of performance. Service standards are not universally in place but are currently being developed in a number of services. The Council clearly engages well with its stakeholders.

Strange because the Local Government Ombudsman, Tony Redmond, has just said (Lobster's emphasis):

33. Hertfordshire County Council and Watford Borough Council should also consider their arrangements for partnerships with other bodies and may wish to consider the advice contained in the Ombudsman’s recently published Special Report on Partnerships.

This forms part of his official ruling on 24th October 2007 that Watford Borough Council and Hertfordshire County Council were guilty of Maladministration causing injustice.

Why does it matter?
A finding of maladministration will affect the reputation of both councils. Watford has ambitious plans for partnership working with neighbouring authorities and a local health campus/road scheme. Should these still go ahead while there are questions about Watford's competence? Or should a proper investigation take place as to why the Audit Commission was told one version of events, but the Ombudsman found another? But Mr Redmond's report also contained this bombshell:

26. The Borough’s housing manager says that [the complainant] had received the same poor standard of service as other Borough tenants. A note in his tenancy file said that external decorations were done in 1987 and were not due again until 1992. She says that the Borough’s properties have not been externally decorated for years unless the tenants complained or officers identified particular problems.

(Again the Lobster's emphasis.) This means that the complainant, who has just successfully won an offer of compensation, might not be alone. There may be other equally dissatisfied former tenants who are eligible for compensation. It's time to do a quick sum. There were 4,468 dwellings under WBC's control at the time they were transferred to Watford Community Housing Trust on 10th September 2007. The complainant's home in this case was actually part of a small number of additional dwellings that were owned by Herts CC and managed by WBC. So let's assume a total of 4,500 dwellings were previously managed by WBC. Section 2.7 of this report prepared for Marion Harris, Head of Housing at WBC on 5 September 2006 indicates that 20.1% of tenants were not "very satisfied" with the service offered by the council’s Housing Department. This means there could be up to 900 former tenants who may be eligible for compensation payouts.

Cllr Andy Wylie, portfolio holder for Housing, recently tried to imply that the tenants in the Ombudsman's case had accepted £2,000 from the council. It wasn't true. The tenants appear to be reserving their legal rights, and may well receive a larger payout. In their case there had been deficiencies over a very long period of time. These fell outside the Ombudsman's time limits, so he exercised his discretion to limit his investigation to just the final two years of their tenancy. But even if we just take the £2,000 figure, then the council's potential exposure to compensation claims is of the order of £1.8 million.

Cllr Iain Sharpe, Leader of the Liberal Democrat group at WBC, was clearly very rattled when he made this comment on Lobster Blogster:

If we were trying to cover this up we have certainly gone a rather odd way about it.

The Ombudsman's report was reported to full council and the subject of a full debate, with the public present, as evidenced by the fact that you were there and able to report on it.

Cllr Wylie made it absolutely clear that compensation had been offered but not accepted.

The Ombudsman states that he had exercised his discretion to limit his formal investigation to events between 2005 and 2007, it is pretty clear from the tenor of his report that the failures go back much longer. Which makes Andy Wylie's comment pretty accurate.

In the circumstances, therefore, it seems to me that in using the term 'cover up' you are using emotive language to make a bogus point, in contrast to your leader Cllr Rackett last night.

Lobster Blogster now demands that Cllr Sharpe withdraws his comments above, and offers the Lobster a personal written apology.

There's quite a bit to follow up from this post. There's the matter of informing the Audit Commission and the Ombudsman of serious discrepancies between the reports they have independently produced, and there is the procedural issue of getting the matters raised here properly investigated at the council. The Lobster already has one outstanding urgent enquiry* to which the council has not even bothered to reply to, and so will continue to pursue these matters as and when time permits. As ever, watch this space for further developments.

* refers to a handcrafted LobsterGram, delivered to the front letter box of Watford Town Hall on Saturday morning

Notes:
Marion Harris was Head of Housing between 27th October 2003 and 9th September 2007 when she transferred to the Watford Community Housing Trust.

Update 21/12/07
WBC's Head of Legal and Democratic Services has written to Lobster Blogster to establish that it was Cllr Andy Wylie who was the portfolio holder for housing during the period of maladministration. Mrs Chen confirms that no compensation has been paid.

Етикети: HCC, Hertfordshire, Legal Ruling, Lib Dems, Maladministration, Watford, WBC

Етикети: FILTH, Lib Dems, Toilets

Yes they have Mayor Thornhill. They have turned Watford High Street into one long urinal. Pissing in public is now an accepted part of Watford nightlife. Liberal Democrats are shamefully turning our town into an open sewer.

UPDATE:
Mrs Justice Lobster issued the following legal ruling at 7.00am GMT:

"The foolishness of Watford's Lib Dem administration now means that indecent exposure is legal within the central Watford drinking zone."

Clarification of the legal position means that Lobster Blogster will be sending out a National Media Alert shortly. Please stay tuned to Lobster Blogster for further developments as they happen.

UPDATE 2:
Due to the Lobster happening across a very handy list of tourism contacts, and the dire need to make a pun here, the Lobster has revised his plans accordingly. A Members Survey and Worldwide Tourism Invitation has now been despatched. Let's make Watford High Street the venue for the world's biggest piss-up!

Етикети: Lib Dems, Members Survey, Toilets, Worldwide Tourism Invitation

In a sensational new development at Watford Borough Council, Liberal Democrat Leader and Portfolio Holder for Financial Services, Revenues and Benefits and Planning and Development on the council cabinet, Councillor Iain Sharpe has been forced to admit, exclusively to this blog, that no compensation has been paid in the ongoing housing maladministration scandal.
He said:

"Cllr Wylie made it absolutely clear that compensation had been offered but not accepted."

Councillor Wylie, who is the Portfolio Holder for Housing and Human Resources, did indeed make it clear, but not until the council meeting on 21st November 2007. Lobster Blogster was the first to report the truth the following day. However the councillor did not make it clear to the readers of the Watford Observer on 5th November, when he commented on an inaccurate article published by the paper titled "Councils pay out £2,250 compensation". Despite the very first paragraph stating that an elderly couple

"...have received a £2,000 payout from Watford Borough Council."

Cllr Wylie failed to make the truth known. The Liberal Democrat cabinet member failed again on the 6th November to indicate that the newspaper article itself was untruthful. Cllr Wylie, who boasts:

"I am not one of those - if it goes wrong on my watch I front it and take the flack."

has made no effort to explain these glaring inaccuracies to either Lobster Blogster or the Watford Observer. Despite an unwarranted personal attack by Cllr Sharpe, Lobster Blogster will not be silenced, and says:

"Stop hiding behind the mayor's husband, come out in the open Councillor Wylie and explain yourself."

Oh, and to Councillor Sharpe I will say just this. It's not Lobster Blogster who has caused two years of misery to an elderly couple and cost the tax payers of Watford tens of thousands of pounds in failed a High Court action and Maladministration ruling. It is you and your incompetent Lib Dem administration. If you believe there's no cover up, why won't you let Wylie speak for himself?

Note:
The maladministration occurred between 2005 and 2007. Cllr Wylie has confirmed that he took on the Building Service portfolio only in 2006. This means that there is yet another member of the Liberal Democrat administration has failed to come clean about their role in this scandal. Lobster Blogster will of course bring you the name of the incompetent politician as soon as Watford Borough Council confirm the identity.

Update 21/12/07
Oh dear, it's not looking good for Iain Sharpe. Carol Chen, the Head of Legal & Democratic Services has now written to Lobster Blogster to establish that Andy Wylie was the portfolio holder for housing for both 2005 and 2006. So why didn't Sharpe correct this post from Lobster Blogster? It seems that cry-baby Sharpe is both a bully and a liar. The Borough Solicitor has also established that a the High Court Taxi fiasco cost the council £101,993 - you pay a high price for having a lying Liberal Democrat adminstration.

Етикети: Lib Dems, Maladministration, Scandal, Watford, WBC

Watford Borough Council's Liberal Democrat administration, who lost a Judicial Review case in the High Court in June 2006, are desperately trying to cover up a recent ruling of Maladministration by the Local Government Ombudsman.

Responding to an (inaccurate) article "Councils pay out £2,250 compensation" published by the Watford Observer on 4th November 2007, Cllr Andy Wylie said:

The article is a bit misleading so here is the full story. Back in the 60's Watford acquired some homes for knocking down to build roads. ...

What Wylie fails to make clear is that:

a) Compensation has not been paid, as the article mistakenly asserts
b) The Ombudsman's report refers to "Between 2005 and 2007..." and only those years.

The finding is that both Watford Borough Council and Hertfordshire County Council were guilty of "Maladministration causing injustice", and the Ombudsman's report has now been agreed by the full council. Cllr Wylie, who proposed the report to the council, now has some difficult questions to answer:

1. Why did he not take the opportunity to correct the inaccuracies in the Watford Observer article when he commented on it on 5th November 2007?

2. Why did he try to mislead readers of the Watford Observer, and the full council on 21st November 2007, by stating that the problems had occurred over 25 years, when he knew that the Ombudsman's report covered just the period 2005 to 2007?

Notes:
Cllr Andy Wylie took over responsibility for the Building Services department in 2006
Local Government Ombudsman Housing Complaint Summaries
Full Report into complaints no 06/A/17783 and 07/A/00758 as adopted by Watford Borough Council
Watford Area Green Party on Council Fail to Acknowledge problems in Taxi de-limitation process

Етикети: Legal Ruling, Lib Dems, Watford

Lobster Blogster produced this image around three years ago,
when the nutjobs at Watford Borough Council refused to warn
people in the "green bin" scheme of the dangers of Japanese
Knotweed. Eventually the DEFRA stepped in and gave them a
ticking off. Fat lot of good it did though, because now we have
knotweed in a building site right opposite the town hall.

During the week the lobster learnt that a crazy planning
permission has gone through, whereby over a hundred
"protected" trees are to be cut down. Clearly the value of a
Tree Protection Order is precisely zero, when you have a
town run by Liberal Democrats.

The Leader of the Lib Dems in Watford, and wife of the
mayor, runs a blog where he spouts facile drivel week
in week out. Perhaps the lobster needs to add an new
section in his "Top Blogs" bit forbloggers that emit
meaningless twaddle whilst developers go around chopping
down beautiful trees.
________________________________________________
UPDATE 1.
The Communities and Local Government website have a
publication called Tree Preservation Orders: A Guide to the
Law and Good Practice. It is available online in both Word and
PDF formats.

Watford Borough Council's guidance on TPO can
be found here.

Етикети: Lib Dems, Nascot ward, tree vandals, WBC