Lobster Blogster

Lobster Blogster has come to learn that a scurrilous rumour is circulating the internet, namely that Paul Delaire-Staines (Federation of Conservative Students, University of Hull, 1986) was 'a bit daft and naive as student' [sic].

Being handy for marine creatures the lobster briefly attended Hull University a few years previously. It is simply outrageous that Mr Staines should be slandered in this way, and that Hull University Federation of Conservative Students should be dragged through the mud of the Humber estuary.

The lobster was tempted not even to link to the wicked blog that is circulating these evil slurs, but because the whole marine blogosphere should know that a girl (heck, let the feminists fulminate!), a girl! has taken to abusing Mr Delaire-Staines in this way I have decided to add a reference merely as a footnote.

The lobster is tempted to return his qualification to Hull University forthwith, if this mighty instition of learning does not join the fight to defend Mr Staine's honour, except er, the lobster did not exactly get a qualification from marine learning's centre of excellence.

The lobster has no idea how this will affect Mr Staine's current standing. Presumably his is a pillar of the community by now, exposing fine conservative values, and standing up for what is right and decent.

If anyone has heard of the whereabouts of Mr Paul Delaire Staines, or even what happened to the Federation of Conservative Students (no one seems to mention them anymore?) they are very welcome to get in touch.

Astro-turfers, trolls and slime maggots who hang around blogs like this girly one need not apply!

Please note: the lobster will be conducting important research at North Watford Public Library today in order to check the veracity of this wicked libel.